


their favorite part

by cheryltonis



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, angsty fluff or fluffy angst, choni, kinda canon kinda not canon, we gonna pretend that almost threesome didn't happen lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 22:01:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18214208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheryltonis/pseuds/cheryltonis
Summary: what was meant to be a fluffy little choni oneshot has turned into an in-depth analysis of the problems they've been facing lately.





	their favorite part

**Author's Note:**

> i honestly don't know what this is i just thought that "blot!" scene was cute af and i got carried away. it switches back and forth between toni's pov and cheryl's at random so im sorry if it's confusing i just kinda kept writing for 15 hours.

It started in the unkempt ladies room of some random dive bar in Nowheresville, Nevada. Toni watched (stared) adoringly as Cheryl touched up her makeup in the smudgy, cracked mirror. Maybe it was the alcohol she shouldn’t have been drinking, but her head swam at the sight of her girlfriend. How was it possible that the ice queen of the north side chose her, of all people, to open up to? Cheryl Blossom kept her guard up, anyone could tell you that. And it broke Toni’s heart to think about the amount of people who knew, but how few people had tried to help ease that guard down. But despite that, she knew she was the lucky one that thawed the ice queen and got to see the genuine warmth of the broken girl underneath her cold exterior.

“Shit,” Cheryl’s voice broke her train of thought, causing her to flinch out of her entranced state.

“What?” the pink haired girl subtly swiped a finger along the corner of her lips, worried that she was drooling. She watched curiously as Cheryl sifted through her clutch, “Babe, what’s wrong?”

“They’re out of paper towels,” she pouted at her in the reflection when she couldn’t find anything in her purse to blot her lipstick with. If they were in the bathroom of Riverdale High, she would have leaned forward and kissed the mirror, leaving her mark to remind anyone who saw it of her presence and who she was. Cheryl Blossom could do whatever she wanted. But in this sleazy dive bar bathroom? She could only imagine what kind of diseases she could catch from putting her lips on the dirty, smudged glass.

“I mean, there’s toilet paper...?” Toni offered, her voice trailing off as she looked into the graffiti covered stall behind them, seeing the crumpled, stained roll sitting atop the tank cover. “Never mind.”

Cheryl huffed with a small stomp of her boot, her pout intensifying. But the harder she pouted, the wider Toni grinned. Despite the fact that she had helped break down the thick brick walls the redhead put up, it was entertaining to see the spoiled princess that still lied beneath the surface.

“Babe, c’mere,” the shorter girl chuckled, taking her pale fingers in her own, gently pulling her away from the sink. The doe eyes she loved so much shined with curiosity as she held up the backside of her hand.

“What?” Cheryl giggled, catching a bit of the shimmer that was left on her girlfriend’s wrist from when she was testing out a new highlighter in their motel room across the street.

“Blot,” she instructed, keeping her hand raised a few inches from her face.

Furrowing her brows with a breath of nervous laughter, Cheryl’s cheeks flushed a pale shade of pink as she leaned in to kiss the soft skin of the back of Toni’s hand, feeling rather silly. Her lips clung slightly to her hand as she pulled back, the fresh coat of bright red MAC lipstick leaving a perfect lip-shaped stain.

“Better?” Toni just smirked, slowly pulling her hand back as Cheryl nodded with a girlish giggle, pink tint still evident on her cheeks.

“Thank you, TT,” she muttered shyly, casting her eyes down to their entwined fingers, “Now your hand is stained.”

“It’s okay,” she looked down at the red stamp before picking her head up to kiss the corner of her lips gently, “I’ll wear it like a badge of honor.”

Since that moment in the middle of their iconic road trip, Toni has become her girlfriend’s favorite lipstick blotting pad. Whether it’s on the back of her hand, her cheek, or her neck, Cheryl always finds a spot to blot her red painted lips. It had become her favorite part of her entire makeup routine in the morning before school. 

Even on lazy Sunday mornings after a long night of worshipping each other’s bodies, Cheryl would sneak out of bed and apply a layer of red lipstick before crawling back under the covers to place a soft kiss to her girlfriend’s bare shoulder blade or collarbone.

She loved seeing the red against Toni’s sun-kissed skin, marking her as her own. She never had anything of her own before, so she was very protective and territorial over her girlfriend. There were some things she just refused to share and Toni was one of them. She got a rush watching her walk away with the sacred red stamp somewhere on her after lunchtime touch-ups at school. And it made her heart soar when she would see the lipstick stain still in perfect condition on her skin at the end of the school day.

Those lip marks were her brand, how she marked her territory. And the pink-haired girl wore them proudly. She was _hers_.

But as the months went by, it was starting to seem like that just wasn’t the case anymore.

_“Baaaabe,”_ Toni whined after Cheryl planted a loud kiss to the side of her neck.

“Oh, you love it, TT,” she teased, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and smiling at her in the dimly lit reflection of her vanity mirror.

“The Poisons are gonna be here any minute,” Toni pouted and wiped the lipstick stain off her neck after Cheryl pulled back from the unrequited hug, not noticing the way her cherry red smile briefly dipped into a disappointed frown. “Sorry, you know how Peaches can be. I need her to focus on what I have to say, not give me shit for walking around with lipstick marks all over.”

“It’s just one spot, Toni,” Cheryl murmured, sitting down on the edge of their bed, watching with shiny eyes as Toni ignored her comment and scrubbed the red marking off. “I might skip the meeting tonight if that’s okay.”

“Are you sure?” Toni turned around for a moment as she spread on some lip gloss.

“Yeah, I wanna get a head start on my English paper so I don’t have to stress about it later."

_Fight for me, TT. This is **our** gang, **our** new family. You want me there with you to help lead the pack._

“Okay. Well...we’ll be in the den if you change your mind,” Toni offered her a bit of a smile as she pursed her lips together to even out the shimmery gloss. Her hint of a smile turned quickly into a frown of concern when Cheryl simply nodded and eased back to sit against the headboard. “Hey...you okay?” She twisted the lip gloss cap back on and made a swift move to sit on the edge of the bed, her fingers running over the expensive comforter.

“Perfectly fine,” the redhead gave her the best smile she could muster. And the look in Toni’s eyes told her that she just wasn’t buying it. She was the one person alive in this world that she could never fool.

Toni’s lips parted to speak as she raised a hand with the intent of brushing hair back from her girl’s face.

Relief washed over Cheryl’s body, knowing that the simple little gesture was coming. Like a glimmer of hope. But came to an abrupt halt when her hand stilled with the sound of the doorbell ringing downstairs.

“Shit, they’re here. We’ll be in the den,” the pinkette sighed, dropping her hand, much to Cheryl’s dismay.

“Okay,” she mumbled, wearing the same fake smile as she watched Toni slip the black and purple leather jacket over her arms. But her true colors showed the minute she was out the door, a single tear slipping down her cheek.

From there, things just got rocky. At least that’s how Toni would describe it. But to Cheryl, it was _disastrous_. For a while it seemed like all Toni cared about was the Poisons. Even when they were alone, they came up in conversation. The bitter part of Cheryl was starting to regret ever forming the gang of misfit girls. But the part of her that was madly in love with Toni told her to keep her petty comments to herself and focus on how happy her girlfriend seemed. That was the whole reason she gathered the girls in the first place. For her. But lately, Cheryl was starting to think that the Pretty Poisons were making Toni happier than she ever could on her own. And it stung worse than any slap on the cheek she received as a child.

The weeks passed and Toni only got more distant, taking late shifts, surrounding herself with the girls as often as she could. Meanwhile Cheryl started resorting to empty threats and catty behavior. And the petty comments she forced herself to keep in started coming out whenever they popped into her mind as she started to _try_ repressing that part of her that was still madly in love. Because what was the point of being in love if the person you felt it for was slipping away from you? Toni was the only light she’d known since Jason died. And now she could practically see that beautiful light dimming before her eyes. 

Cheryl wasn’t proud of her tactics. She often used her money and power to get people to like her. She always had. Hell, she paid Tina and Ginger to be her friends for three years. With Toni, she never felt the need to flaunt her wealth. Toni just wanted _her_. But lately she didn't feel like enough. But apparently it wasn't something money could fix. A vacation to Mont Blanc for spring break didn't seem to interest Toni at all. 

She was reaching her breaking point. She had tried just about everything. Toni didn't want her to help lead the Poisons, she didn't want to go on vacation with her, it seemed like she didn't want her at all anymore. She didn't want to believe it, but it became crystal clear when she stumbled upon a karaoke party at La Bonne Nuit.

Freshly baked cherry scones scattered were left scattered on the floor in front of the stage as Cheryl turned on her heel, willing herself not to cry as she showed herself out. And she didn't know what hurt more, the lyrics to the song she had the displeasure of hearing Toni sing with Veronica, or the fact that she didn't chase, or even call after her.

At the end of her rope, the determined redhead had one last trick up her sleeve. And she was sure that it would work. If it didn't, then all hope was truly lost for their relationship. 

A single delicate tear escaped the corner of her eye as another powerful orgasm rippled through her whole body. Her hips rocked slowly in rhythm with the movements of Toni's skilled fingers, needy whimpers and moans escaping her throat as she pressed kiss after kiss to any surface she could. She cursed the smudge proof lipstick she had applied before breaking into the speakeasy as she kissed from Toni's shoulder to the skin below her ear. She wanted to mark her with her signature stamp, just to reassure herself that Toni was still hers. But with each kiss she left, her girlfriend's caramel skin remained clean and flawless, making Cheryl's heart break more and more with each desperate kiss she left on her. And despite her failed attempts, her plan did seem to work. 

But not for long.

She didn't know how it happened. Neither of them did. One minute they were getting dressed and starting to talk in an attempt to clear the air, and the next Cheryl was storming out of the speakeasy once again with a whole shopping list of emotions coursing through her. Anger being the most prominent. But what surprised her the most was that it wasn't anger at Toni, or the Poisons or anyone else. It was anger at herself for running away. 

And with anger came pride. Pride that turned her into the frigid ice queen once again. She responded with a simple _'whatever'_ when Toni texted her about coming to collect her belongings from Thistlehouse. As much as Cheryl wanted to ask her where she was staying and tell her to get there safe, she restrained herself, not wanting to seem weak. The guard that Toni had broken down so quickly was back up. And they could both feel it between them as Toni moved around the bedroom to pack while Cheryl sat coldly at her vanity, doing her makeup as if she didn't have a care in the world. 

"I'll see you at school?" Toni bit her lip as she lingered in the doorway, watching Cheryl apply her favorite red lipstick in the reflection of the mirror.

A quick, uncaring, "hm," was all she got in return.

"Cher, come on, can you be civil about this?" she sighed, the crack in her voice nearly breaking the redhead, not that she let it show. Instead she remained quiet with stiff movements as she capped her lipstick tube. "Fine. See you around, I guess," Toni rolled her eyes with a defeated shake of her head as she left the dimly lit room, leaving Cheryl alone.

The redhead kept her composure, fluffing up her hair in the mirror until she heard the slam of the front door. At that point, she was unable to hold it in anymore. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks, ruining the makeup she'd put on as a mere distraction. With a heavy sob, she reached a shaky hand for a makeup tissue, blotting the excess lipstick off with a strained whimper. What she wouldn't give to see the deep red mark on Toni's skin right now. 

_Mother was right, I only rip love apart._

After demanding Kevin change the musical from Godspell to Heathers, Cheryl threw herself into the role of Heather Chandler, reverting back to her old ways and making the student body fear her once again. Because even if they hated her, at least they noticed her. She wasn't as invisible as she often felt. But there was one person in this school who didn't move aside when Cheryl walked down the hallway. And that same person who nearly bumped into her as if she didn't even see her was the person she wanted to see her the most. Once upon a time, Toni was the one who saw her when she felt most invisible. And now it was like she was the only one who didn't see her at all. 

But she had her attention. Not the attention she wanted, but it was the attention she deserved. Toni was simply doing her job as choreographer and Cheryl was just making that job harder with her defiance. 

Toni _loved_ her. She never stopped. But _god_ everything was so confusing. She would be the first one to admit that she didn't handle things as well as she could have. And the choices she made ultimately lead to the demise of their relationship. And she felt even worse now, seeing how Cheryl was acting out. She knew her ex-girlfriend better than she knew herself. She knew that a tantrum like this just meant that she was hurting. And it killed Toni to know that she was the cause. 

But she played along, dancing on stage with everyone else, doing her job like the professional she was. But when Evelyn suggested a party at the former Sister of Quiet Mercy, Toni's heart clenched as she took a subtle glance at her ex, knowing how significant that horrible place was to her. And when the redhead shrugged and nodded with a smile at the idea of the party, Toni just _knew_ , now more than ever, that Cheryl was keeping everything in. She didn't even flinch. Just a few weeks ago, Toni was just holding her in her lap and soothing her after yet another nightmare about the trauma she suffered from in that hell hole. She knew that Cheryl wasn't simply _over it._ And she was livid that no one else seemed to even consider the redhead's feelings.

So she showed up to the party. Fashionably late, but there nonetheless with her gang of girls right behind her. She never wanted to set foot in this hellish nunnery again, except to shut it down, but she wanted to keep an eye on her. Even though the building wasn't what it once was, the memories of the night they rescued Cheryl were still fresh in her mind. She remembered taking her home to her trailer, staying awake the whole night to make sure she was there for the broken girl if she woke up from her fitful sleep. And she hadn't left her side since then until now. Guilt flowed through her as she downed a blue jello shot, watching Cheryl stand alone in the crowded room. 

She promised her she would never be alone again. And now that promise was broken.

She was admittedly a little drunk when she picked up her phone later on that night. She couldn't sleep. She just tossed and turned on the leather couch under Pop's. It was nearly three AM. There was no way Cheryl was awake...

**[TT]:** Cher, please talk to me. 

It was unclear how long she waited for a response. Her eyes were sore from staring at the screen, willing the little grey bubble to pop up. Even a petty read receipt would make her feel better. But nothing came. And Toni Topaz, the girl who always had hope, was starting to lose it. But she kept trying.

Red was a color she rarely touched, if ever. She normally stuck to neutrals and less bold colors. Before she met Cheryl, red reminded her of the blood of her parents splattered on the floor of the kitchen in their small trailer. Red was the color of her uncle's face when he would hit her and lock her out of his home. Red was _bad_. 

But after Cheryl? Red was the color of the room she found so much comfort in. Red was the cherry she would pluck off her chocolate milkshake to place on top of Cheryl's, knowing they were her favorite. Red was the lipstick stains on her skin that she missed so much. Red was love. Red was _Cheryl_. And if she didn't already know it, the redhead made it perfectly clear to her just before getting in her face, demanding that she transfer schools yet again after she caught her wearing her signature color. Maybe she deserved it. She _did_ wear it to get a rise out of her. But as Cheryl stomped away in a huff, Toni could feel _something_ bubbling up in her chest. And she wasn't sure what it was. It felt like anger, pure frustration, confusion, and hopelessness all mixed into one. 

She was starting to wonder if there was even any point in trying anymore. Maybe she should just give up. It had been a while since she had been single, maybe that was what she needed. And eventually she would be able to forget about the fiery redhead that stole her heart and find someone else. But just the idea made her heart hurt as it pounded heavily in her chest. Did she really just consider the possibility of finding someone else? Someone other than Cheryl? 

She'd been thrust so quickly into the world of Cheryl Blossom that she hardly remembered what life was like before her. Even when thought of her life as a Serpent, Cheryl was right there in her memories, by her side in that red leather jacket that looked so _damn_ good on her. Everything looked good on her. Cheryl, while not your average gang member had quickly become such a vital member of their team, bringing something to the table that no one else could. And Toni would always look on with pride and admiration every time Cheryl hooked an arrow onto her bow to send it flying through the air to hit a target perfectly. 

For someone so different from the rest of them, she fit in so perfectly. And it didn't take long for her to earn everyone's respect. She didn't demand it like she did with everyone else. Cheryl entered Serpent territory knowing that respect was something she had to earn. And now that Toni thought about it, the redhead seemed all too familiar with the concept. Cheryl had been handed everything on a silver platter all her life. Everything but love and respect. 

_Shit._

Cheryl wasn't at rehearsal. Most of it was just running lines and she knew her hard-working girl had hers memorized. And since she didn't have any lines of her own to memorize, she rushed out of the auditorium, hopped on her bike and sped off to Thistlehouse. She'd been going about this the wrong way all this time. She should have known that trying to talk to Cheryl in public or through text would never work. She needed to get her alone in a setting that was comfortable for both of them. 

Rolling up to the large cottage, she skidded to a stop and parked her bike in her usual spot, tearing the helmet off her head as she rushed up to the door, unlocking it with the key she neglected to return. But the fact that Cheryl never pestered her about it had her wondering if she ever wanted it back in the first place. 

With a sigh of relief, Toni headed straight for the stairs, rounding the corner to Cheryl's room. The door was slightly ajar, and it was silent inside. Peeking through the crack, she saw the girl who had been so hostile to her earlier today, her silk robe fanned out on the comforter as she lay on her back. If it weren't for her slight snoring that Toni always teased her for, she would have panicked and assumed the worst. 

Biting her lip, she tip toed back downstairs to the kitchen, taking the time to think of what she wanted to say as she brewed Cheryl a cup of tea, knowing it relaxed her. Making it just the way she liked it, she topped it with the white porcelain cover to keep it hot before climbing back up the stairs, hesitating at the door and pushing it open with a deep breath. 

The squeaky hinges woke the redhead and she abruptly sat up against the headboard, glaring at the mug in Toni's hand. "What is that, drain cleaner?" Cheryl muttered, fiddling with her polished fingernails distractedly, trying to keep her composure. But Toni could see the pink tint on the tip of her nose and the rosiness of her cheeks and lips. If she hadn't been crying before she fell asleep, she was on the verge of it now. 

"No," the pinkette resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Now wasn't the time for her to have an attitude. "It's an olive branch," she sighed, taking the lid off the mug to sip at the tea, proving to Cheryl that she had no plans to kill her. And it broke her to see her ex look genuinely relieved at the fact. 

Cheryl took the mug carefully, relishing the warmth in her hands. She hadn't felt warm in days. Weeks. "So, you're here to beg for clemency?" she huffed, barely made eye contact with her as she tried to keep that guard up. But she should have known better than to think that Toni wouldn't see right through it. 

"No...for _us_ ," Toni looked down at her as the shade of pink on her nose got darker, her eyes starting to shine with tears, "What are we doing?" Her heart broke at the look on Cheryl's face. She looked as confused and hurt as Toni felt. "What are we even fighting about?"

Cheryl looked down at her robe, trembling and unsure of how to answer, flinching a little as Toni sat down on the edge of the bed beside her legs. 

"Babe, what was love like in your family?" the pink haired girl spoke softly and slowly, not wanting to overwhelm the already shaken girl in front of her. 

Biting her lip, Cheryl pondered on that question. She'd never been asked that before. And she'd honestly never thought about it. What she grew up in, she assumed it was the norm. Having to ask for hugs and kisses and then being given the bare minimum, only receiving affection if she had been well behaved, she thought that's what it was supposed to be like for the longest time. "It was..." she started, trailing off as she tried to put it into words, "All or nothing. Pure adoration or...distilled hate." 

She'd honestly never thought about it before. And it all made sense. The way her parents adored Jason and practically displayed him on a pedestal while little Cheryl tried her hardest to keep up. And she had never been good enough for the love and adoration she craved. But she never held that against him. It wasn't his fault. She adored her brother as much as everyone else did. And he was the only one who ever adored her back. 

"Thornhill was a den of shadows, and Jay-Jay was my only light. And...he died. And it was dark again," her voice cracked at the mention of her brother. She took a deep breath, keeping her tears at bay as best she could as she blinked up to meet Toni's eyes. The warmth making her feel something she'd been aching for since they started their petty arguing. 

Toni's heart clenched in her chest as her eyes started to shine with tears. Tears of sadness for the girl she loved and tears of hope that everything would be okay. Her mother used to tell her that it was okay to cry, and that every time a tear fell, she should make a wish. Maybe that's why when she reached her teen years, she stopped crying. After growing up in a gang, and finding your parents dead on the kitchen floor on a rainy evening after school, you stop believing in wishes coming true. 

"Until you," Cheryl added with a hint of a smile. The first genuine one Toni had seen from her since that night at the speakeasy. But it fell into a frown as her voice cracked, leaving her sounding small and meek as she continued. "Then it felt like you were disappearing on me," she muttered honestly. She'd had plenty of deep chats with Toni before. They'd talk about their shitty pasts and the hopes they had for their futures. But this was different. This was them trying to resolve a conflict. And Cheryl was _terrified_. Every conflict she'd ever faced growing up ended with broken bonds. She lost the people she loved so easily, she didn't want Toni to be one of them just because of a simple miscommunication. But it wasn't simple. Communication had never been a big part of her family. Things didn't get resolved. Cracks in the foundation simply got painted over to create a nice appearance, meanwhile the house was still in danger of falling. 

"But I'm not gone," Toni leaned over, taking her hand carefully as she spoke with as much purpose as she could muster, "I'm right here."

Cheryl's chest heaved as she held in a sob, tears slipping down her cheeks freely at this point. She'd felt so alone over these past few weeks. Sleeping alone, eating lunch alone, driving to school alone. She hadn't helped matters either, being so hostile and cold towards the only girl who loved her unconditionally. She could admit that she could have done better and handled things differently. She was still learning. Love and relationships were still such a new concept for her. And Toni understood that. She had never pushed her or reprimanded her for doing something wrong. She was so patient and good to her and Cheryl couldn't believe that she was so close to letting her go. 

"And maybe..." Toni sniffled as Cheryl stared into her eyes, "it's not too late for us."

The redhead sniffled, wiping under her eyes, "You think so?"

"Hey, look at me," she scooted closer to her, reaching up to brush her thumb against her damp cheek, "You think I'm gonna let you go that easy? I'm not."

"But I was awful to you. I kicked you out, I threatened you, I pushed you away," Cheryl hiccupped and shook her head. 

"Did you mean any of it?" Toni asked quietly, still cupping her cheek, letting the warm tears fall against her fingers. 

"No, o-of course not."

"You were just hurting, right?" Toni smiled sadly at the little nod she got in return, "Think you can tell me why you were hurting?" Cheryl swallowed hard with a bit of a nervous whimper, but Toni sat up on the bed, sitting directly across from her as she reached for the mug, placing it on the nightstand so she could hold her pale, trembling hands. "Nothing's gonna get fixed if we don't talk, baby."

The redhead took a shaky breath, scared of what Toni would think of her reasoning. What if she thought she sounded crazy or obsessive? "I-I guess I thought the Poisons would be a good way to apologize to you for getting us kicked out of the Serpents," she sniffled.

"Cher, I don't blame you for that. You know what hurt me more than having to leave?" she cocked her head, running her thumb over her knuckles when she shook her head, "The fact that no one fought for me to stay. Sweet Pea, Fangs, all of them knew how much that gang meant to me. It was more than a gang, it was my family. I was born into it, you know that. And none of them fought for me. For us. I'm a Serpent by blood and you earned your rank, we both did so much for them and they were so willing to kick us both to the curb without a second thought." 

Cheryl sniffled and nodded, squeezing Toni's hand shakily as she continued. 

"What else?"

The redhead sighed, taking a deep breath. "I was just...confused. I guess I was wrong about where I stood within the Poisons. I appointed myself a leader."

"You are a leader."

"But you got so upset with me when I took the lead."

"I was upset that you were making the girls get violent. I'm all for self-defense, babe, but unnecessary violence isn't what a gang is. Except maybe the ghoulies, but that's not us. And maybe I got a little power hungry. I had been wanting a leadership position for so long, I guess I let it get to my head. So I'm sorry. The Poisons are supposed to be a democracy, not a dictatorship, and I lost sight of that."

Cheryl sniffled, and held her arms out, beckoning her in for a hug. She hadn't been held in far too long.

"Tell me what else, baby," Toni cooed in her ear, cuddling up with her as they laid down on the comforter.

This was the hardest part for Cheryl. Where the real, deep-seeded problems were. And she trembled in Toni's arms, sobbing as she struggled with what to say. But Toni was patient with her, rubbing her back. She knew that whatever it was, it had to have been serious. Something that Cheryl had struggled with for a while. "Take your time, babe, I'm not going anywhere," she whispered, rubbing her palm up and down the silk of her robe. 

With a few sniffles, Cheryl finally picked her head up, shiny, tearful eyes meeting once again as Toni reached up to wipe her cheek. "It felt like you didn't want me anymore," she whimpered as her face scrunched up with a fresh batch of tears, "I was trying my hardest and it was never enough. The Poisons were taking up all your time and we didn't have any time alone anymore except when we would go to bed. And at that point, you were always so tired from work or from hanging out with them that you would fall right to sleep." 

Now that she had started, she wasn't sure she would ever stop. But Toni listened, tears falling from her eyes as she let her speak. "It seemed like you weren't happy with me anymore. If you had to pick between a trip to the Bijou with them or a quiet movie night in with me, they'd be your first choice. And I tried everything, Toni. I didn't know what to do anymore." Her voice cracked and raised with each point she made, wanting to get it all out to not prolong the inevitable. "And then you said you didn't want to live with me..."

"I didn't say I didn't wanna live with you, Cher," she sighed, reaching up to brush her tears away again, "I said maybe it was too soon."

"How could it be too soon? Weren't you happy here, TT?" Cheryl whimpered, leaning into her caress. 

"Of course I was. You think I didn't love sharing a bed with the girl I loved every night?" she chuckled a little, though she didn't earn one in return. "You told me what love was like in your family. In mine, I had a hundred brothers and sisters of all ages. I learned to share before I even _had_ anything to share. Love was scattered throughout the trailer park. We were both a community and a family. None of us had a lot to give, tangibly. We showed love by just...being there for each other. I saw at least two dozen different people every day. I'm used to belonging to everyone and loving everyone, not just one person. So being here, living here with you...it was so different. It wasn't bad, but...I wasn't used to it. I felt suffocated."

Cheryl's breath hitched in her throat as she tried to pull back from Toni's embrace, feeling like she was suffocating her right now as she spoke. But Toni pulled her back, rubbing her back reassuringly. 

"I didn't communicate it well with you, that's my fault. We're different people from different backgrounds. You're used to being secluded, I'm used to being surrounded. We can't help that. And...honestly, I meant what I said about it feeling like I was invading on your space. You may have invited me in, but it wasn't feeling like home to me. It felt like I was just here for a sleepover, living out of a suitcase. It didn't feel like _our_ bedroom."

The redhead shook almost violently against her chest, sobbing into the crook of her neck. She didn't realize how overwhelming it all must have been for her. She was just so excited to have her girlfriend living with her, having her around all the time. Someone to kiss first thing in the morning and last thing before bed. It was a dream come true for her, and she didn't even stop to think that maybe it wasn't the same dream come true for Toni. 

"But after these past few weeks...babe, I realized that my home is wherever _you_ are. I missed you so much, Cheryl. And while it would be nice to have my own side of the room, it's not what I need. What I need is _you_."

Cheryl sobbed, relief filling her chest as she picked her head up again to look at her through blurry vision. "You mean that?"

"Cheryl, I _love_ you. More than I ever thought possible. You have turned my world upside-down and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"I missed you so much, Toni," she whimpered, her face red from crying so much, "I love you. I'm so sorry you felt trapped here. I don't want you to feel that way, I'll do whatever I ca-" She was cut off by the familiar, but long-coveted feeling of Toni's lips on hers as her fingers traced along her pulse point as she whimpered into the kiss. 

"You love hard, Cheryl. It's such an intense, burning passion that sometimes I feel like I can't keep up with you. But just know that me needing some space sometimes doesn't mean I'm sick of you. I can't always afford to get you expensive gifts or take you on surprise trips. But I can promise to try giving you the love you want if you promise to try giving me the love I'm used to. Okay?"

"If I say yes, can I be your girlfriend again?" 

Toni smiled, kissing along her damp cheeks before making a beeline down to her lips, nodding against them. "Even if you don't say yes, you can. It's not gonna be easy, babe. We need to communicate and talk through our issues instead of getting petty and defensive, which I know we're both guilty of. That's the only way this is gonna work...Okay?"

Cheryl nodded eagerly against her forehead, a smile of relief evident on her face as Toni leaned against her, kissing her gently. 

"We're seventeen, Cher, we're not perfect. And we can't expect ourselves to be."

Cheryl wondered how Toni Topaz, the pink-haired gang member from the South Side got to be wiser than she ever thought herself to be. Here, she was raised to believe that the more money and class you had, the better your upbringing was. But Toni came from practically nothing and managed to prove that theory wrong. The large family she grew up in, they taught her right. She was a good person, smart and kind. And she had no idea how she got lucky enough to call Toni her own. 

A week later was the biggest night of their junior year so far: Opening night of Heathers the Musical.

"Make way!" Cheryl heard as she touched up her eyeliner in the mirror of Riverdale High's large shared dressing room. Turning her head curiously, her eyes widened when she saw her girlfriend, leading the gaggle of Poisons behind her, each girl carrying a vase of a dozen long-stemmed red roses, her favorite. Her jaw slacked as her pink lips curled up into a smile, leaving her just gaping and flushing a shade of red that almost matched her costume as her classmates looked on. 

"Good luck tonight, babe," Toni stopped in front of her, handing her a single rose from behind her back. Toni wasn't used to grand gestures, giving them or getting them, but she was trying for Cheryl. And as embarrassed as the redhead looked, her excitement and approval was obvious on her face. 

"I love you," she giggled, reaching up with her free hand to bring her down for a chaste kiss as the girls placed the vases all around her vanity, encasing them in a forest of red and green. 

"I love _you_ ," Toni sat down in the chair beside her. She already had her makeup done for the show, filling in the small role of Betty Finn. Cheryl teased her so much about the glasses at yesterday's dress rehearsal. "You nervous?"

"Please, I was born for this role. I _am_ Heather Chandler," Cheryl smirked at her in the reflection of the mirror as she spread a bright shade of red onto her lips, "Plus I had an amazing private dance teacher."

"Heather Chandler's got nothing on you," Toni chuckled, watching her girlfriend blush and duck her head shyly in the mirror before putting the cap back on her lipstick tube. 

"And now for my favorite part," she chirped with an excited grin, turning in her chair to face her, "Blot!" She puckered her lips out comically, making her giggle before leaning in to kiss her gently and blot the excess lipstick off her lips with her own. "Mm, _parfait_ ," Cheryl purred with a smirk, glancing down at the rouge that spread onto her girlfriend's lips, "This color was made for you, we have to get you a tube."

Toni just breathed a shy laugh as Cheryl leaned in to kiss her again. Red lipstick wasn't part of her costume. In fact, it was the complete opposite of what Betty Finn would wear. But she wore it proudly on stage, the color popping out just enough to show everyone in the audience that she was Cheryl Blossom's girlfriend. The self-proclaimed _owner and inventor of red_ loved her enough to share her signature color with her. Toni wore the lipstick stains on her skin like a badge of honor, just like she said, keeping them on like temporary tattoos throughout the day. It made her girlfriend happy, so it made her happy too. 

Cheryl was right, blotting was the best part of her makeup routine.


End file.
